Today, I post on my past 10 months, and past 8 years of getting back up, back in the saddle. For the first 7 years, I worked on recovery from a pharmaceutical syndrome of long term side-effects. My life was a roller coaster, with frequent derailing's and train-wreck's. For three years, none of the side-effects reduced of disappeared, even though I had done many natural therapies to encourage recovery.During the next four years I established relationships with two primaries, and followed their advice as well as continuing to provide numerous natural, nutritional homeopathic and botanical remedies. Only 11 moths ago, did I finally regain the last critical elements of my previous wholeness. Within 1 month, I would be called to my sister's side for the last 10 days of her life. I would become trustee for her estate, and work towards making it habitable as she had suffered severe depression, cognitive decline and serious heart concerns, she had not cleaned or maintatned her home for 10 years. It was filthy, a literal bio-hazard and countless broken-down features like no toilet, no kitchen sink, some wiring concerns, and the list goes on.
My sister and I were very close, though she actively his her health concerns for most of 10 years. I had known for 5 years that I would adopt her two dogs, and I had expected to find all the legal paperwork to execute her estate, alas, she never saw the cognitive decline or the depression coming.
By my own definition of necessity, I would go without sleep and most food for 3 plus months, trying to clean and organize. It took two full months to even be able to find her files and paperwork, but none were current, and nothing other than our mother's will was legally documented. I have worked with an estate lawyer, but the process has been challenging to say the least. I am in a massive learning curve, though I believe my lawyer is not a very good communicator, and doesn't see me for who I am. I have a limited fixed income, and every month I have both had to borrow from friends, but also clamp down on every purchase for the last two weeks of the month.
My lawyer knows the estate laws, but I had no timeline provided until yesterday, and now I am placed in a very rapid process, that leaves me feeling insecure about where I will land, especially as distribution of funds probably wont occur until after an estate sale, the sale of her home, a 23 day court filing and up to 3 months for court authorization. All of these stressors provoke my complex PTSD which developed with the 7 years of severe disability, homelessness and significant nutritional deficiencies due to digestive problems associated with the side-effect. In spite of all this, adrenal exhaustion from the 4 months of work without sleep, I continue to get back up. I can't see any other choice than to seize the day, and try once again to rebound and recover. The stoics have these 8 things to help you keep going during hard times:;
embrace the present
practice gratitude
create inner strength
practice patience
understand what you cannot control
learn from adversity
seek wisdom
cultivate compassion
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