I took music lessons over the years. The first time in second grade, it was "sight reading", learning the alphabet is analogous. Bass clef, treble clef, EGB and FACE, the only theoretical part of the learning curve. I would play in the bell choir in church, and this started the early part of rhythm, and continued refinement of the natural ear. I would sing alto in the school choir, before my voice changed and I was kicked out of the choir (ADD problems with the instructor). For over 10 hears, I thought I couldn't sing, but after forming Silver Lining, a duo, later a west coast swing group, I found that my ear for the flute was equally there for my voice. Pinky, the music instructor at Fernwood, never explained why he dumped me, but teachers and coaches often leave chaos and emotional pain in their footsteps. I would hire two instructors as an adult, one a PSU music instructor who was great at classical music, but had no interest in jazz, rock and folk. I would then take an instructor who played jazz in town, but she proved to be too aggressive in her style, and I gave up before I learned how to practice, practice, practice.
My mentor Ralph would say music is meta. Meaning that in his guitar playing, or other musical events he found God. For me, in my recovery, my music has been my primary self care tool. I can loose my anxiety and overthinking as I immerse myself in my flute, piano, banjo or guitar. I have about 6 instruments that are still in the learning curve status, but it all comes easier with a broad foundation. It is frequently said that music can calm the wild beast, a lullaby can aid a child's entry into sleep, with a very calming effect. And music can be evocative of high and intense energy.
Ego's do emerge in groups, but as a rule, there are many fewer arguments on stage, than at the dinner table or other social venues. Music comes naturally and easily to most people, though the societal beliefs often leave people missing out and casting self doubt. Tapping your foot, finding a little hand jive are both steps in the right direction.
As I have taught music, I favor the Suzuki method. Take a song you like or love, and play it over and over, and soon, it is melodious and pleasant. Try not to get lost in the mathematical theories and favor your own ear, and intuition. Math has always been very easy for me, but music theory is a base 12, not a base 10 binary system, a new language, and an island unto itself. Playing a drum is usually just a base 4 binary system, and you got to have rhythm. Mostly, try to find enjoyment as you hunt and peck your way to fluidity.
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